January 29, 2015

Being 22

It has been 22 years since I've came to existence. For someone who changes their environment or daily routine drastically every 5 years or so, 22 years may seem like a long time, but for someone who has been working in the same environment for say, 40 years, it's merely a half-way point.

As linear and objective time can be, it surely doesn't feel that way at all. 

I came across this video the other day, in which an anthropology lecturer from LSE talks about how a lot of people think that their jobs are useless, making their lives feel miserable as they do nothing to contribute to anything but essentially exchange their time to receive the all-important wage. He then mentions this concept of basic income, where people receive some basic pay and are free to do anything they wish to get more income, and he argues that in such a society, there would definitely be more good than in one that has jobs that makes people feel as if life's meaningless.

The immediate thought that comes to my mind is I'd bake, which is funny because I keep telling myself and other people that I'm not really serious about this whole thing ... but it would seem nice (at least for a short period of time) that I'd bake every day. The thought of having a day job that involves some form of physical activity and having my mind focussed on something I'm doing with my hands just seems ... ideal.

The thought of slaving myself in an office, spending every moment of unoccupied brain activity contemplating about life seems, well, depressing.

It doesn't help that economists always describe working as a form of exchange where you trade your labour (which implies time) for income that you would then use on day-to-day expenses. I guess I can finally see where love comes in as a very important part of life. 

It would be funny to read all my blog posts some time in the future where I've finally made sense of everything, assuming that I eventually do. I just hope that day comes soon.

So far, every office job I had tells me that it isn't for me. I guess it's not so much of baking that's the thing I want to do, but something that doesn't involve doing stuff that bores me. Maybe it boils down to what sort of a job can really provide me with the satisfaction essential to make life meaningful?

January 19, 2015

New start?

It's 4am, and my alarm is due to go off in 5 hours. Yet, I'm still wide awake, typing this on my iPad while I lie on my bed. Every thing in my head is in shambles, and I constantly make decisions that baffle myself. Something's wrong.

Lack of discipline would be a severe understatement. Wonder when did things start to go wrong. Doesn't matter. I need to get back on track, ASAP. Time's ticking. With nothing to cling on to, it'll be tough, but there are no other options.

One day at a time, Kritz.

January 7, 2015

Stuff that irks me

I should be doing some reading, but anyway ... 

I get annoyed by stuff all the time, and most of the time I don't voice it out loud because that would be unnecessary. But it's my blog, and almost no one reads it, so it's fine. 

Stuff that irks me #1: 
People who don't know how to summarise things. When I ask "What is a movie about?", I'm expecting something about one or two lines, not a friggin' detailed synopsis of the movie. I don't have that much attention span. I feel bad for being annoyed, and there's really no nice way to tell a person that they are being unnecessarily descriptive, so ... ugh. 

Stuff that irks me #2: 
Certain social media posts. Maybe I should start congregating them and write them into a book ... 

I find it annoying when people post about their personalities. Like, really? What's the point in telling people that you're an extrovert or an introvert? Do you really need half-assed Internet personality test to tell you about yourself -- and then tell the whole world about it? 

Let me look at Facebook for some inspiration ... 

Okay, maybe people who post their vacation pictures one at a time, and several times a day. Not as annoying, but still ... ugh. 


People who write advices to the masses as if they are some wise person. Get off your high horse dude. I guess the high horse thing applies to a few more situations as well. For instance, posting your berries and yogurt breakfast and encouraging people to eat healthy like yourself, or complaining about the music of your generation and how some old band is so much better, or feeling pretentious as hell for liking stuff like some obscure cheese or a particular type of wine. Sophistication doesn't work that way. How can one be a connoisseur of anything when they barely have any knowledge about it? 

Oh, and hoax posts. I guess it's not that bad because some people just do not know ... but ... ugh. 

Maybe posts about people complaining about game invites. I personally do not play any Facebook games (if you receive any notifications from me, it might be because I send my dad stuff and it somehow 'leaked'). It would probably take less effort to block those apps than to write a status to complain about it.

Okay, a little haphazard, but I want to talk about that movie thing again. You see, I myself have very pretentious views when it comes to movies as well, but I don't go around telling everyone because it's only pretentious when you do that.

Okay, enough ranting for one night. 

January 6, 2015

Happy new year!

Wow, the holidays went by really fast. It's the first day of term 2 and my mind is still all over the place, partly fueled by wanderlust and partly from thinking of what to cook -- can't seem to get the latter off my mind most of the time.

I'm currently sitting at my desk, all cleared out and spacious, drinking tea from a Whittard mug that I splurged on (it was on sale). Had to retreat from the discussion of some arbitrary topic downstairs. As much as I despise the labelling of a person as an introvert or an extrovert, I have to say that I'm definitely more of an introvert as it really felt too demanding to participate in that conversation. No one seems to be able to be able to notice when it's one of those days for me, though.

Notable things I did over the holidays:

  1. Watched a live performance of Les Misérables. Cried ... more than expected. There were 3 scenes that somehow got to me, all spread out throughout the musical. I didn't expect to cry since I already knew what was coming, having already seen the movie adaptation of the musical. Suffice to say, I really enjoyed it.
  2. Read a few books: Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides, Watchmen by Alan Moore, Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse and Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro. I wish I could huddle up under my duvet and sink myself into the world of the author but I can't. I can foresee the next few months being the same. I hope the career path I end up in eventually allows me to turn off when I leave work.
  3. Spent Christmas in Durham. Every time I go there, all I could think of is how much of a better place it is compared to where I am. It was really how I pictured studying in the UK to be -- cobblestone roads, tea rooms and cafes, shops worth exploring. It also catered to a more recent interest of mine, having fresh markets with butchers and fishmongers within walking distance. Sigh. I really liked the vibe of the Oxfam there, a three-storey secondhand bookshop! Bought Never Let Me Go for £2 that turned out to be a really enthralling read.
  4. Spent 2 nights glamping in Peak District. I really liked the idea of staying in the middle of nowhere with a pub right across the road and another really lovely pub located 20 minutes away. The walking trail was really nice too. Wish the weather had been better.
Now I see where the wanderlust came from. Sigh. I'm at this weird position where I'm aware that I have to snap back into term time mode but yet the awareness itself isn't sufficient. At this point, all I want to do is anything but studying. My first class really help heighten that feeling.

Happy ... new year?