November 23, 2012

Of happiness and dreams

Just a few minutes ago, I was chatting with him and he told me how sick and tired he is of his job and how he wants to just quit. When asked what would he be doing instead, he told me that he wanted to take pictures all around the world. 

Then my eyes started getting teary.

What a selfish jerk a person has to be, to rob someone of their livelong dream for his own desire that didn't even exist until recent years. 

Despite telling me several times that he made such a huge decision/sacrifice ONLY because he believed in me (and my track record), I still feel that I'm not worthy of it. There's probably a reason why I can't secure a scholarship. Maybe my uncle's right, maybe this isn't worth it.

I had no idea he could afford to send me overseas. I am still not quite sure how. (Though I am sure no bank loans are involved.)

So I told him to keep himself healthy until I could afford to send him on vacations. 

If I truly want to be fulfil that promise in the shortest amount of time possible, then the right thing to do is to get a job here in the UK and forget the idea of heading home after graduating. Of course, it depends on how good am I (or how good I will be), but that isn't the main issue here. 

He will always remind me to do whatever that makes me happy ... well, maybe putting aside my desire to go home in order to make him feel happy will make me feel happy.

November 9, 2012

Is honesty really the best policy?

I believe (almost) nothing is absolute. (See what I did there? Without the ''almost'', I would be believing in an absolute statement, heh.) Just because you're a mathematician, doesn't mean you can't be a novelist. *inserts relevant video*

I remember being taught in church that we are not meant to tell lies, not even white lies. Well, guess what, I don't believe in your lies. How is it possible for a grown adult to have never told a lie before? "Oh, this (shitty) spaghetti tastes great!" Either your ability to lie has evolved to a point where you could manipulate the interpretation of the nerve impulses from your taste buds (this may or may not be scientifically correct) or you lied, you bloody hypocrite.

There are many ways to bring across a message, and being blatantly honest isn't always the best way. Like mathematical analysis, there are different ways of approaching different cases. Sometimes, it's just better for people to not know the truth. Sometimes. 

I'm not talking about cheating-on-your-significant-other type of lies, because that (almost) automatically makes you a horrible person, but more along the lines of you-sing-like-a-dying-whale or did-you-seriously-get-that-hair-cut. Sure, you don't have to show approval, but don't go all out on a person. You don't have to be rude to offend or hurt someone. Wounds don't necessarily heal.

A relationship isn't build entirely on honesty, even the purest of gold isn't entirely pure. Sure, some confrontation and obstacles could lead to stronger bonds, but it could very well go the opposite direction. It's like a gamble. Heck, almost everything in life is a gamble. Maybe I could write about that some other time ...

Sure, there are traits of a person that you can't stand, but that doesn't necessarily mean you have to tell them! They don't have to know! Again, I'm not talking about traits that are disliked in general, but traits that you are personally irked by. Just because someone's laugh sounds like a hyena to you doesn't mean you have to point it out and rob them of one of the greatest pleasures of being human -- being able to laugh out loud.

I'm not really sure where am I going with all this, but all I can say is sometimes, if things are too valuable to put at stake, a lie is justifiable.

Funny, I remember posting something about honesty being the best policy some time ago, but I was in favour of it. I guess people change.