May 23, 2015

Last stretch

2 more papers to go! Spent 2 hours this morning in the exam hall regurgitating all the knowledge that I accumulated for the past few days. Now I'm too lazy tired to study right now and I can't think of any other way to procrastinate, and thus, I'm here. I actually ran out of entertaining things to do that even procrastinating becomes a bore. Sigh.

The paper on Tuesday would be one of the more challenging papers I have, and I should really put in my all in the next 3 days since it's the last ever paper that I'll be cramming for. Well there's also the very last paper, but that's pretty doable in comparison.

Don't know why part of me still has that little hope of getting a first class for my degree, when in reality it's very, very unlikely. Hoping some miracle would happen and I would somehow, miraculously achieve the bare minimum for a first, hah.

I should probably start throwing out stuff that I won't be keeping after my paper next Tuesday, since I'll be spending a lot of time travelling around. Did I mention that on top of Krakow, Rome, Naples and Istanbul, I'll be visiting Slovenia too?

As much as I want to stay put, I don't see how is it possible now that I've filled up all the free time that could be spent job hunting on travelling instead. I guess I don't want it bad enough. As much as I admire chefs that work their asses off at the very beginning of their careers, barely affording to survive, I guess I'm not tough enough to be that kind of a person.

I guess I should just head back home and figure out my next step then.

Can't wait to replay Final Fantasy X for the third time. Words can't describe how amazing that game is to me.

I'm bored, gah.

May 11, 2015

Happy Mother's Day?

My previous post could not have been posted at a worse time. I can't say that I was surprised to see a comment from her on that post, since it is Mother's Day and I did write a post dedicated to her last year.

If I hurt your feelings, mom, then I'm apologise. But what's said has been said, and I do not feel the need to take my words back. In fact, I'm kind of glad that you guys read it anyway.

It's hard to feel anything on the day where we all learn what everyone's mom look like thanks to Facebook. I've been away from home for far too long. Instead of making a lovely brunch for my mother, or treating her to a fancy dinner, I had to study for exams which start tomorrow (which is also what I should be doing right now), 10,000km away from home.

Despite technological progress and the existence of Skype and Whatsapp, nothing could really come close to actually talking face-to-face.

I'm also guilty for not knowing how to reciprocate affectionate messages from my mom. I just hope you know that I love you and I can't wait for us to spend some long overdue time together.

May 6, 2015

I want out

Well, plan A failed. I still wanna stay here, or anywhere around here really, or maybe just away from home, but having no specific skillset to offer is kinda hindering my prospects. The thought of going home seems to be less and less appealing as the days draw nearer and nearer to the inevitable.

For some reason, the brief Skype session with my parents today irked me a lot. It usually doesn't. It usually makes me miss them a little. They seem to be on top of their game today at getting on my nerves.

At the risk of sounding like an angsty teenager, they really do not understand anything regarding my current being. Not that I expect them to, but it's just annoying when anything I say pretty much just falls on deaf ears. I don't even know why I initiated that Skype session.

No mom, getting 95% for my exam is not feasible, at all. Anything more than a 70% is a first class and it's more than enough. This isn't high school. Heck, most people don't even score 95% for anything at any age.

No mom, I don't want to go to church. I don't want to go to church here, I don't want to go to church when I go back home either. How many times do I have to repeat that? I don't recall being Hozier and singing for someone to take me to church.

No dad, despite dropping and taking different modules, none of my modules are anywhere near easy or "a piece of cake". Did you see that stack of material I have to understand by heart to do well for my papers? Do you think this is some walk in the park?

Yes dad, I know hitting the gym lifting weights would improve my appearance, but I really can't be arsed right now and bringing that up every now and then serves no bloody purpose other than to irritate me. Where were you before I left home and lost 40 kilos anyway?

I should've just let them travel with a tour group. That would've saved me a lot of time and from feeling unappreciated for putting so much thought and consideration into trying to provide a great experience.

And no, providing such a good opportunity to study overseas doesn't cancel out my rights to be irritated by irritating behaviour. I'm grateful, but still human.