February 6, 2009

Age crisis.

I just realised that I'm already 16.


I don't feel 16.

I feel like I'm 15.

Do you know the difference between 15 and 16?

It's one friggin' year,
One big leap.

But no.

I don't feel it.

Is there suppose to be a change,
A superior feel to it or something?

If yes, where is it?

If no, what's the point?

2 more years and I'll turn legal but I'll probably feel the same.

I feel stuck at the PMR era,
And it seems weird that I'm already studying subjects like additional mathematics.

Everyone seems the same to me,
Or probably not.

I don't know.

I'm officially lost.

How I wish someone would offer guidance,
Telling me what to study for,
What to look out for,
What to be aware off.

Praying someday everything would be clear.

Wishing that I wouldn't waste a whole year like I did in Form 1.
I actually realised my Living Skills (Kemahiran Hidup) was Technical Skills (Kemahiran Teknikal) when I was Form 2.

The only thing I enjoy right now is the endless laughter in class,
Thanks to the people around me,
Especially JoshTan.

I really enjoy laughing like a mad man,
Oblivious to the surroundings.

Other than that,
I find it hard to enjoy school.

Being such a procrastinator,
Homework piles up faster than I can possibly imagine.

What's worse is being so absent-minded,
But that isn't too big of a problem since there are friends to help me out.

I'll be a life-less person.

Imagine having tuition for 6 days in a week.

Not only that,
Exams will come soon,
And I do not wish to follow the footsteps of most Form 4s,
Failing for their first exam.

Decisions, decisions.

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