February 19, 2009

Ups and Downs

Just when I felt that I'll be able to cope with the endless tuitions and extra subjects,
After struggling with them,
I now feel like what I felt before.

I'm like a woman with mood swings,

Since my current dream is to study overseas,
And looking at my current state,
The only way is through scholarships.

Easy to say, hard to get.

Looking back in a smaller scale,
My current school life.

Seems like a big mess to me.

I can't seem to finish all my homework,
Except for maths and add maths.
I feel so lazy to do others like those 3 science subjects.
So much to study,
So little time,
And even lesser mood.

Setting a goal,
Thinking of what I would be 10 years later,
Thinking of where I would be 10 years later,
Thinking of how successful I might be 10 years later,
Doesn't seem to motivate me at all.

I probably need something big,
Like failing my 1st subject,
Or maybe when it's too late to start studying,
To actually feel motivated.

How sad.

Did I mention I hate tuitions?
Absolutely hate them right now.

Is it suppose to be that pressurising?
Am I pressuring myself too much?

How in the world am I suppose to motivate myself to study Science subjects at home,
So I don't need to go for tuition and everything.


What's more confusing is the teachings of my religion.
Shall not go into that.

Let time tell.

Exam's around the corner,
I don't think I'll get good grades for it.
I really doubt it.


If I do end up in a local university,
What's the point of studying so hard anyway?
Might as well just get a few As, Bs and Cs.
Makes no difference.

I'm just a big lazy bum that prefers to sit in front of the comp for the whole day,
So what if I turn off my computer,
I'll still find a way to burn time,
Since it's not distracting me from doing homework,
I just don't feel like doing it.


*bangs head against keyboard miserably*
*continues to bang*

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