May 18, 2008

Tears. pfft.

Things happened,
And I went to bathe,
Tears started to roll,
I couldn't help myself.
As the shower showers away my tears,
I try as hard as I could to control myself.
Who was I anyway,
I'm just a kid.

---------------------------Flash back---------------------------

Went back to my mother's home town on Saturday,
I never liked going back,
I rather stay at home,
Even though people there are nice and everything,
I just don't like it.
I'm turning into a cold-blooded animal,
With feelings,
That no one knows.

Reached there,
Waste time in the shop,
Went to house,
Waste time,
Wait for dinner,
Waste more time,
Parents left me alone,
Went to gatherings of their own.

I was left alone.

Later on,
Cousin brother took me out,
With his VAIO and BMW,
To a cafe the only cafe in the village.

SMS-ed with TJ,
Thank you so much.

Next morning,
Went out with two cousin brothers,
Ate lunch,
Waited in the shop again.
I was bleeping bored,
I wish I could just go out into the road and let cars hit me.

I don't understand,
Why time must be killed that way.
But anyway,
And waited,
And waited.
How I wish some one would turn out to save me,
Maybe my mum or my dad.
My mother came,
But not to the rescue.

She joined in the babbling,
Or quarrel should I say.
Do you still remember me?

Around 2pm,
They finally noticed my existence.
Guess what,
We were suppose to have lunch on 1pm.
So they all went home,
Get ready and all.

This was when I went I felt like breaking down.
The thought that my mother doesn't seem to care much,
Maybe she does,
But I just don't see it.
It's not that I don't appreciate it,
Or maybe I think too much,
But anyway,
I was really sad at that moment.
My father,
On the other hand,
Understands what I feel,
Knows when I'm feeling down,
Never force me to do something I really don't want to.

After that few drops of tears,
Had to wipe the steam of the mirror to see whether I left any stains of crying.
Put on my mask,
And went out.

I hate this.

The thought of people that care leaving any second is heart-shattering.
I guess I have to start being strong,
Getting used to the world with people who don't care and understand.


sharon said...

Be strong! I'm sure there are people out there who care for you, like your friends. You might not realize this but maybe they won't mind you taking off your masks. If not, why would they wanna be your friends in the first place? Everyone likes to be perfect, but we are only human. So... just be yourself and be happy. And if your parents or friends don't know your feelings, tell them or they will never know!

Cherry said...

Awww, Kritz! Don't worry.
I'm here for you okay! Be strong! I believe in you! :) You can do it. :) Even I have such problems.