July 24, 2008

Things going in my mind @_@

I don't know why are these things swirling around and around,
It's like an messy desktop.
How I wish I could just right click with my mouse,
Open a new folder,
And just drag everything into it,
And check them out later,
Whether is there a need to save them or just delete it.

That type of image happens when I use the computer too much >.>

By the way,
I'll be using a lot of asterisks that come in three to show that I'm talking about something else,
And to prevent you from being lost.


Why is it so hard for people to get it,
How I wish I could just spit everything out and be the true person that I am,
It's so hard to keep everything to myself.

And when I express something out,
People tend to get it in the wrong way,
Maybe because they are not mind readers.

When I try to say something polite,
No one gets it;
When I say something without any other intentions,
People will read between the lines when they shouldn't.

I hope I'm making sense here.

Oh yeah,
And there are those people who just don't friggin' get it.
I don't wish to talk to you,
So please shut up when I start giving hints that I'm not interested,
Before I do something that you and I will regret.


I should be more organised,
These days I keep finding myself in a mess,
Losing and misplacing stuff,
At home and in school,
And forgetting stuff that I'm supposed to remember.

I don't need an organiser,
Or a book to write down stuff,
Because it probably will not last long.

Maybe it's because I'm a guy ...
And normally guys tend to get all messy.


My major exams are getting nearer,
And I'm still not putting any effort into it.

Not saying that I will leave my computer alone for the next few months,
Just maybe spend a little time reading.



And time never seems to be enough,
I shouldn't say that,
I don't even have heavy burdens,
I just waste time and grumble about not having enough time.


These days,
I keep wondering,
Who am I?
I seriously don't understand myself,
Even to the extents of writing down something I found out ...

I don't even have interests,
And things that seem interesting never seem to budge me.
It's almost impossible to excite me,
I'll always have doubts.
Except movies.


I feel so sleepy these days,
How I wish I could just slack around they whole day,
But I'd probably start saying I'm bored.

I should like,
Or restart,
Maybe during the coming holidays.


At times like this,
I just love to blast music into my ears,
Loud music seem to clam my thoughts,
But then again,
Loud music will hurt my hearing.

Why are good stuff harmful ...

And people at home will start talking to me,
Nagging about the volume.

Not that I'm blaming you or something,
But I just wish to have my own sweet time.


Oh yeah,
There's marching practises going on,
How I wish to escape it,
But ... can't.

And great,
They expect us to learn 4 formations in one day,
Which is next Monday,
Oh the agony...


I might seem like I don't care on the outside,
But fact is,
I try not to care so much,
So much things to care about.

And I'll foresee adults saying :
"You small kid, you have what to worry about? You don't have to earn a living, you don't have to pay, don't have to worry this and that, just concentrate on studies"

Save it to yourself,
I've heard enough.


What else,
The seriousness of me not understanding myself reaches to the point that I don't even know what I like.
I don't know how people be so sure about what they like,
I say that it's because they think it's what they like,
And they totally shut themselves from other selections.

Stuff like food, colour, drinks, numbers, books, movies and all can change,
But for general ones like music and book genres are so tough to decide.


Continues to blast music.


I need interests.
So far the most continuous thing I've done is blogging,
And it lasted for a year till now.

ps. Few more days to my blog's 1st anniversary.


I need more MSN chatting partners,
It seems like every time I thirst for someone to chat with,
No one will be there for me;
But when I'm away,
I'll see a bunch of people saying 'Hi', 'You there?',
And they'll be offline already.

And I tend to wait for others to start chatting,
Because I'll always worry that I'll be annoying others,
Like how some people annoy me.


I have so much to complain about,
It totally covers my eyes to look at good things,
Or maybe it's just because there isn't much good things to look at?


I'm wondering where's the restart button ... in my soul ... makes the system move faster,
Sleeping is just like a PC on hibernate,
Not restart.


Gotta end now,
Will add if there's something to add.

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